Unstable Sadness
by Princess Rayen
Summary: A fic of absolute sadness that just might make you cry. Alphebetical songs with a story to go along and bring out the true meaning of love and the unstable sadness...


_BLAH-Lyrics_

BLAH-Words

* * *

><p>Automatic<p>

_Automatic_

I can't trust you

_Automatic_

I don't need you

_You're automatic and your heart's like an engine... I die with every beat_

You hold me close but not as close as you hold him

_You're automatic and you're voice its electric, why do i still believe?_

"It's alright, its gonna be okay." you say to me as you wipe away my tears. That's what you always say.

I woke up and rubbed my raw eyes from crying. I went to the kitchen and saw the note on the table. 'I had some business to attend to so I'll see you later'

_It's automatic, every word in your letter, a lie that makes me bleed._

I felt like crying again and calling him to tell him to get his ass back to me but then that would make me feel like a needy bitch. I sat on the couch in this empty apartment holding myself.

_It's automatic when you say things get better but they never..._

I hate you...

_There's no real love in you_

But I love you

_There's no real love in you_

I need you

_There's no real love in you_

But I don't want you

_Why do I keep loving you_

_Its automatic counting cars on a crossroad, they come and go like you._

"Wake up." You call out to me and I groggily open my eyes and you stare at me with pity.

"You were crying again."

"Yes, I know that! It's all your fault. You caused this."

"My fault?" You look at me weird and I turn away.

"Please, I need to be alone right now, just please."

You just sigh and leave quietly, without a word.

_It's automatic watching faces I don't know, erase the face of you_

I hold my head hoping to halt the oncoming headache, with no avail. The tears pour down my face because it just came to me tht you may know exactly what you're doing to me. I try so hard to forget but you won't stop plaguing my mind.

_It's automatic, systematic, so tramatic, it's automatic_

I love you

_There's no real love in you_

I want you

_There's no real love in you_

But I hate you

_There's no real love in you_

And I don't need you

_Why do I keep loving you_

Why do you let him control your life. Do you care that much? Why won't you just let him go? And tell me you love me? Or is it me not wanting to accept that your heart has been stolen by that-that street-whore?

I know I love you  
><em>Each step you make<em>

But I can't tell you  
><em>Each breath you take<em>

Hate  
><em>Your heart<em>

Love  
><em>Your soul<em>

I'm so confused  
><em>Remote-controlled<em>

But I've made up my mind

_This life is so sick, you're automatic to me_

I have to say it

_There's no real love in you_

"I love you"

_There's no real love in you_

_There's no real love in you_

_There's no real love in you_

_There's no real love in you_

_There's no real love in you_

_There's no real love in you_

_Why do I keep loving you?_

I hear the door open and close and that's the indication that you've come back. I sit up in the bed and wait for you to come in so that we can talk. My door opens and I feel your warm weight settle behind me.

"Are you alright now?" You ask me kindly.

_Automatic_

I nod and when I want to say what I need to say, my words got caught in my throat.  
>"Go on and say it. Tell me what's on your mind."<p>

_There's no real_

"I love you!" My eyes widened at my forwardness but I continued," there's no more denying it, this feeling in my heart is true, it'll always be that way."

_Automatic_

"I see." The smile you give me is a genuine one but I can tell somewhere deep inside, you're faking it.

_Love in you_

"I can't." You whisper softly. It was the answer I was expecting. You lightly kiss my cheek and leave.  
>Automatic<p>

I listen to your feet press into the carpet before they completely disappear as the front door clicks behind you.

_Why do I_

I wrapped my arms around myself as watch my vision become blurry once more.

_Keep loving you?_

I smiled and called your name one last time before laying down to go to sleep.

_Automatic_

Touching the place you kissed me, I drifted away.

Glad to know you care...

* * *

><p>Alright it was short and I think it was my worst but that's alright because constructive criticism is good. I think it was bad because I based the entire thing on the lyrics but like I said it's only a test fic. I'm just stuck on writing Chapter B now... I need song ideas...<p> 


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